God the Voyeur inspires Catholic Kama Sutra

project11A Polish Catholic Priest has written a book, dubbed the Catholic Kama Sutra, intended to put a little liturgical oomph into the sex lives of Catholics. The celibate Priest’s qualifications for writing the book are marriage counseling and running a website giving sexual advice. You may scoff, as indeed I did, but then again an expert in conditions such as autism don’t need to be autistic themselves. And a little imagination can go a long way.

Part of the idea is to raise the dignity of sex in the eyes of Catholics. This is not such a bad thing. There’s the impression that Catholicism presents sex as merely for making babies, and desire and arousal as beasts to be tamed by the devout. Indeed, sex “deprived of joy, frivolous play, fantasy and attractive positions” doesn’t sound very dignified at all.

The book is intended for married couples, naturally. So that they can celebrate the sacrament of marriage, because according to the author, Father Knotz, every act – a type of caress, a sexual position – with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God.” I bet it does, dirty old man sitting up high on a cloud looking down. For all these years he’s been bored to death the missionary position, priests fiddling with boys and each other, his only entertainment coming from the Irish. Imagine the frustration! Cloud nine I don’t think so. Perhaps God actually visited Father Knotz to give him some divine inspiration.

I can imagine some non-Catholics and singles getting some joy out of this book too. If your sex life is getting a little dull, why not jazz it up a little with some liturgical role-play? Adulterers can recreate the divine conception – Mary leaving poor Joseph at home for a bit of rumpy pumpy with an angel. The Old Testament is a field day for fetishists – Adam and Eve, Noah and Joan of Arc, Lot and his daughters, the Song of Solomon is particularly raunchy.

So if you know any Catholics who are a bit stuffy between the sheets, you might want to consider getting them this book as a gift once it gets translated into English. Alternatively, you could point them towards a bit of sex-ed via Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life.

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